Here we go, my friends!

Well hello, Friends.  

I am astonished I got this far so quickly. Thank you all for giving me the motivation and positive vibes I needed to rock blog out. Let me start from my post-Army days.  I met my husband Isaiah in 2008.  We were married and had our first kiddo in 2009. Zeke, My stepson was so happy to have a baby sister, and I was so happy to have him in my life. In 2010, shortly after our daughter was born, I left the military to become a stay at home mom while my husband deployed overseas.  This was very difficult for me as I had been diagnosed with post party depression shortly after her birth. We lived 16 hours from family, so being alone took its toll on me.  

Putting on weight from my pregnancy, I only continued to get bigger in size and less active.  Once he returned from deployment, we were then stationed in Alaska.  It was a wonderful place to live… but that’s for another time.  🙂  While in Alaska,  we got pregnant with our baby boy.  He was born in 2013.  Once he arrived, I was happy, but could not lose the weight.  After blood work, it was discovered that I had underlying health issues that were not allowing me to get the weight off.  

PEOPLE… I am NOT lazy!   (more…)

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Friendship is Everything :)

 

Hi friends,  

I cannot beleive it is Christmas Eve already! Its been a while since I have wrote. I truly love the nostalgia and happiness that this season brings.  Over the year, as I get older, I am finally seeing what it truly means to have friends and family and what that relationship should mean to me.  We all have those few people in their life that would go to the ends of the earth for you. But to me, a friend that would do that, is family.  My friendship circle isn’t very small but those who are in it, will witness a new me as I grow and make this motherhood thing work. 

“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” 

– Woodrow T. Wilson

When I was younger, I had a group of girl friends that I was very close to.  I still talk to a few of them from time to time.  Funny how time changes. When I would move schools, they group of girls would change as I found a new settlement in the teenage chronicles.  I did move quite a bit, but as I am thinking about it, moving and the experiences and reasons for the moves have made me who I am.  At least certain components of me.  For instance,  I was and somewhat am still willing to move or leave on the drop of a dime.  But now, for the most part, I would not do that for my kiddos.   

My husband has had the same group of friends since he was a kid.  Like, they are close and all.  A great group too, they are 😉 *Paused for coffee* Anyways,  knowing them and what my friendships meant to me, I discovered I sure wasn’t that great of a friend.  I will spare you ALL the details.  In light of Christmas. Plus this is more of a present posting. 🙂  Looking back, I understand what it means to be a good friend.  One that allows a friend to become family.  Seeing that my husband has support and someone one to turn to, other then myself, gives me hope and faith that my kids will have people like that in their lives.  Oh who am I kidding.  They have me… 😉 I have faith.  🙂

We are looking to buy a home closer to my husband workplace this summer.  The stress that comes along with it can be a bit overwhelming.  Do we stay in the area for the kids school?  Jaxen turns 5 this year and will be starting school.  I think this is a good age for him to get settled.  Brinley, though, will be in 3rd grade and has a group of very close girlfriends.  The same few girls will have sleep overs and themes parties.  All the fun together.  She would have to find this all over again.  I understand the frustration she is going to face.  Her personality though, is a magnet so I’m not worried.  Its us as parents teaching out kids that friendships are to be cherished and held in your heart.  

During the holidays, who are you most thankful for?  Do you have that groups of friends or even that one person?  A “My Person”?  I know I do.  I know that now… Those few that would go to the ends of the earth for you.  The older Brin gets, the more life skills i have to teach her.  Compassion, strength, try and fail.  

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One thing that I feel I am actually doing right is teaching the meaning of christmas.  Being thankful for what you have and those in your life.  Thankfully, I am not doing this alone.  Those that hold a special thought in your mind daily.  Those are family. It is the season for reflection and change.  Step back and let your life moments speak to your soul.  You’ll feel good.  Its not about whats under the tree.  Its about whose around it.  

Merry Everything to you and yours. 

My Mental Health has Defined Me.

Hi Friends,

I hope your day has been well.  I would say mine was OK.  Most days I just listen to my head and heart on what I want to express to you.  Other days, Like today,  I just roll through the emotions of feeling stupid for speaking out about my mental health and feeling empowered.  I am roughly only 2 weeks into my diagnosis but the current meds have allowed me a great deal of concentration and the ability to bang out these blog posts.  I get anxiety often.  Especially when I am writing about being bipolar and raising a family.  But, you don’t really get an understanding of people unless you read or see for yourself.  Bare with me, people.  🙂

In 2009, I had my beautiful baby girl.  She came 5 weeks early, but by looking at her, you would never know.  After her birth, I really started to get depressed.  I thought it was just the baby blues that we have all heard about.  I would sleep as much as possible.  I know they say to sleep when the baby does, but I seriously only woke to feed her and myself.  It really got out of control.  One time, I remember, I had hallucinated that my baby girl was Mac from Mac and Me, the movie. But Mac was a demon going to eat my face off.  I know, you probably giggled, but in reality,  I almost dropped her and cried.   (more…)

We all have our differences.

Good Morning, friends.

While enjoying my coffee this morning and looking for pictures to post, I realized just how different my husband and my backgrounds are.  One image, a trigger really, sparked a whirlwind of thought in my head.  Ways my husband and I are different is with foods. The smells, the tastes, the appearance…

I grew up, mostly in a small town in Missouri, though I have lived in a few big “cities” in lifetime. With a busy life doing extracurricular activities and a single working mother providing for me,  we came accustom to fast food.  We would have the occasional family meals like chicken fried steak and goulash. I remember waking up as a kid and frying up a few eggs for a sandwich.  We always had those ingredients and I loved and still love the combination.  Getting my husband to eat them would be like pulling teeth.  🙂 (more…)